Grandma's Scarves

This is one of my favorite stories to share with colleagues, RA's and anyone who will listen.

We all have heard RA's complain about addressing noise complaints that involve, shall we say, uncomfortable noises. Yes! I am talking sex noises. I listen to the complaint and kindly tell them it really isn't that difficult. Yes its awkward, yes it might be uncomfortable for you, but imagine what the policy breakers are feeling. After walking my RA's though how to handle the situation I share this- and I always get lots of laughs and often stares of horror (hence the title of this blog).

As an Assistant Hall Director I was the first line of support for the RA's. I received a call from 2 RA's who were overly concerned about a noise complaint. After a few minutes of questioning the m I find out that the situation was the lovely 'Sex Noise' complaints. I did my traditional "how-to" when all I heard was silence. Finally one of the RA's pleaded for me to come assist. I sighed a giant sigh, got out of my very comfy bed and changed into my duty clothes (those clothes you set out in order to do a quick change in the event of an emergency in the middle of the night). I meet the RA's at the Front desk and they give me the room number of the complaint.

The light bulb went off! An Epiphany occurred! It was a fellow RA's room. EXTRA AWKWARD! I go to the room and knock. The RA opens the door after a few moments. She immediately turns bright red and apologizes profusely. I ask her to change into clothes for a quick conversation (per policy in this type of situation). She tells me that it will be a moment and she will be back to let me in the room.

About 5 minutes passed and she hadn't returned. I knocked again, getting annoyed at this point. She opens the door and whispers, "There is a problem." I ask about said problem and she informs me that the guy its stuck. I silently FREAK OUT. . .What does stuck mean?? I finally let a breath out and ask for clarification. She pulls me close and whispers, "I tied him up and I can't get the knots out." I do everything in my power not to laugh, which is exactly what I want to do.

I ask her what he is tied up with and she tells me 2 ties and 2 of her late grandma's scarves. I suggest she cut the ties and she says she will. Then she bursts into tears and says she cannot cut the scarves- they are one of the few things that she has of her grandma's and they hold a lot of memories. I stop for a moment to think. Finally I loo over to the VERY uncomfortable RA's who accompanied me and as them to go get a screw driver from the front desk. At this point they know nothing of whats happening in the room and give me the strangest stares I have ever gotten (EVER).

With the screw driver in hand, the RA's in the hallway, and the noisy RA calmed down, she and I go into the room where there is yet ANOTHER surprise. Tied to the bed, covered in a comforter is a 2nd RA! OMG is all I can think. . .

I gently pry the knots of Grandma's Scarves undone with the screwdriver while the female RA cuts the ties. After about 10 minutes he is free. Both are CLEARLY mortified. I am borderline embarrassed for them and myself. Neither can make eye contact and both are fidgeting. I look at them, screwdriver in hand, shake my head and say goodnight. I figured that after the long night, none of us needed to have that educational conversation, more was said by NOT being said.

So when RA's complain about addressing loud sex, I share this story and they thank the ResLife Gods that they were not ANY of the RA's that night.